Drew and I are currently on our way home from Exeter after his appointment with the doctor at the laurels. We weren’t sure if he would get the go ahead for hormones on his first visit, but surprisingly he did!
It is so surreal watching and experiencing this from the other side, seeing the excitement light up his face when it was clear he was going to get the green light was just so wonderful. He’s not stopped grinning since and it’s infectious.
I still do have mixed feelings, on the one hand, as I love him and want so much for him to be happy I am over the moon for him that his transition journey can finally begin. However, on the other hand I don’t know how I’m going to feel when he looks and sounds male . I’m scared that my attraction towards him may lessen, after all I am attracted to women not men, and what if he changes so much that we lose our ability to connect?
There are so many unknowns, as there were for him when I began my transition, but we’ve survived thus far, in fact more than survived, our love has flourished and deepened because of going through this journey together. With all my heart I hope this continues to be the case.
Things have been really strained lately, he’s been stressed due to the wait for hormones and I’ve been stressed at his stress! Today has been our best and most relaxed day together for a while and that bodes well I think. With the stress removed and with the wheels in motion, we can get on with the adjusting as he begins to change.
As I’ve said in all my previous videos and posts about this, the one thing that has remained constant and the one thing I’m sure of is that I love him with all my heart and soul. I am convinced that this love we share and our obvious strong bond will get us through and help us to negotiate the many hurdles we have yet to face.
With him beginning hormones and myself about to have lower surgery, this is going to be a very interesting few months!!!
I will keep you posted!!!!