Good morning! I have been having a few personal insights lately and I just wanted to share this one with you. If you watch my vlogs, or in fact just know me, you will know that the biggest continuous challenge I face is fear. Although my generalised anxiety is now vastly improved, I still have a lot of fear around doing new things, meeting new people and so on.
I have dreams and aspirations about doing really meaningful work in this world, writing, talking, supporting people to find their recovery path to happiness, whatever that means to them. I often see people doing the exact same thing I wish to do and if I’m honest, I feel envious. However, these things ARE available to me too, so there is no need to be envious. I have become aware, or at least become honest with myself, that the reason Im not getting the opportunities I wish for is that I often say no due to fear, not as much as I used to, but I still do. How on earth can I have new opportunities if I don’t say yes to new opportunities?!
In conversation with a friend, I was reminded that it is about ego, I was concerned with ego in other ways, that in wanting to do such aspirational things I needed to not let my ego take over. However my friend pointed out that he meant ego in another way, in ego actually STOPPING me doing things.
To explain, my fear with saying yes to scary events like doing a talk for example, is to do with what people will think of me, will I look/sound like an idiot, what if I do a bad job , what if they dont like me etc. This is the ego my friend means and I need to remember that Its not about me or what people think of me, its about doing something in the hope it will help just one person. Looking at it like this really helps. So what if I look like an idiot or if people dont like me? Take me out of the equation and it lessens the fear. With this at the forefront of my mind at the moment I am now vowing to say YES to every opportunity as long as I can practically do it.
This morning, this email arrived in my inbox, absolutely perfect timing and puts exactly what I am trying to say, much better than I actually can!
“…that it is time to move into uncharted lands.
If you want to do something you have never done before,
you have to do something you have never done before.
If you want to go somewhere you have never gone before,
you have to go somewhere you have never gone before.
You cannot do something new by doing old things. If
you want your life to change, you have to change your
life. So go ahead. It’s safe. And it’s also…about time.”