Avoiding Dwelling On Feelings – Day 65 of #365daysofselfcare

This blog is part of the #365daysofselfcare challenge

dont dwell on it move onSelf-care is acknowledging a problematic feeling but not dwelling on it

This morning I received the news that my lower surgery date has to be changed from 17th July to 8th August due to some issues with the surgeon.

I am of course upset, but dwelling on it won’t change it, it’ll just make me feel worse. It has taken me many years to get the balance right between acknowledging feelings and avoiding dwelling on them.

Positive thinking is often misinterpreted, as meaning, we should push bad feelings away, but this is not the case at all. Thinking positively isn’t about denying your emotions, this is just as damaging as dwelling on them. It is instead about changing our perspective on how we view those problematic feelings.

Our feelings need to be validated. For example, it is understandable that I am upset about my surgery delay and it is ok to feel those emotions. When we acknowledge feelings and allow ourselves to just let them be, they will then pass naturally. What causes us problems is moving from emotions to thoughts. For example by playing it over and over in our mind, ruminating over the injustice, the inconvenience etc. This is when we move from the acknowledgement of feelings  into dwelling on feelings

Remember to feel it, allow it and move on.

 

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