Unconditional Love Holds No Expectations – Day 91 Of #365daysofselfcare

This blog is part of the #365daysofselfcare challenge

Self-care is reminding yourself that love is not dependant on meeting others expectations

love has no expectations.jpgDuring my recovery from addiction and mental illness, I have learned that a large part of my anxiety is caused by guilt. I have historically struggled with a high need to please others, and when I perceive I have let others down, I can quickly spiral into guilt and high anxiety.

Overcoming this has mostly been in realizing my own worth and in knowing that those who genuinely love me, do so not on the condition of me meeting their expectations.

This does still surface for me on occasion, as it has this week. I have two people I love who each have the same birthday, my Mum and my boyfriend. Mum has dementia, and so I had come to terms with knowing that actually missing her birthday would be OK. I would see her afterward and instead travel with my boyfriend to his hometown to spend his birthday with his family and friends.

However, I have had a bit of an emotional crash this week, my new boyfriend and I are going through early relationship teething issues, I have surgery next week, and I just did not feel that going away was the right time, I thought I needed a few days to be with myself and rest.

It was a tough decision to miss his birthday, it shows a tremendous amount of self-growth on my part to risk the disapproval of someone I love. Even more important has been my boyfriend’s reaction to this. He went out of his way to drive over to hug me and tell me it was OK before he headed off and we’ve had numerous video chats over the last 24 hours which have been full of love and understanding.

This has been a beautiful confirmation of how, when we love and respect ourselves and know ourselves of worthy of love, we attract people that treat us as such. Someone that genuinely loves you unconditionally will never hold that love hostage to meeting their expectations.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Unconditional Love Holds No Expectations – Day 91 Of #365daysofselfcare

  1. I imagine that with your upcoming surgery next week that your Self has gone in to down time in order to focus on entering this next chapter. Stage 3 surgery hasn’t been an easy experience for you to go through, but it has been a very brave one for you to have to face. You are someone who sends out so much unconditional love in to the world. I’ve seen it time and time again. It’s your time Sweet, to experience what it’s like to let unconditional love in to your life. Chris sounds like a genuine person who has your back all the way, as you cultivate the building blocks that let you know that you can really trust someone with who you are and with what is going on for you at any time. I’m glad you have such a good man on your side xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meeting Chris has been a gift on so many levels. Seeing myself through him has really strengthened my sense of self. This is my first concious relationship, in terms of being sober and in my decision process to enter into the relationship rather than just fall into one like I used too. Doing so takes risk, but risk is nesessary and so far, its paid off in spades! Thank you for your lovely comments as always!

      Liked by 1 person

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