Managing Conflict – Day 92 Of #365daysofselfcare

This blog is part of the #365daysofselfcare challenge

Self-care is reminding ourselves that disagreements between people are healthy and normal

self care instaMy most recent self-care posts have mainly been within the theme of having the courage to voice our needs, despite the fear of upsetting others. I think this is coming up for me a lot at the moment, due to my being in a new relationship.

I have become much better practiced at asserting my needs over recent years. However, relationships are highly emotionally charged, especially for those of us in recovery. In these situations, especially new relationship beginnings, it’s not uncommon for old ‘defects of character’ to attempt to rear their ugly head.

Although I do not fall apart in the way I once did when these things come up, they are still very painful. Because my feelings are so strong for this new man in my life, there is, of course, the fear of losing him. This is why, when I practice what I’ve learned over my years in recovery and voice my needs and feelings honestly, I find my old thought patterns lurking in the sidelines. Fear tells me that the disagreement will mean the end of us, that now I’ve said how I feel things are ruined etc.

It is taking a lot of effort to not join in the dialogue with this inner voice, but whenever I refuse to engage it, it gets quieter. Sitting with the painful feelings is a healing process in itself, especially when I see the proof after having a disagreement, that not only are myself and my partner still OK but also that we are stronger for a mini disagreement.

 

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Taking Time Out-Day 30 to 35 Of #365daysofselfcare

This Blog is part of the #365daysofselfcare challenge

Self-care is knowing when to take a break

2018-06-03_18.21.28-02I am out of date with my posting. In fact I’m out of date with all my social media. I decided to take a few days break from it all. I have been working so hard recently, writing articles, blog posts and short stories. My keyboard has been on fire!

I declared my fifth date with my new boyfriend, (I cannot get used to saying that!) as a little mini holiday. I travelled to him on Tuesday and stayed until Friday and allowed myself time off from writing. It was really lovely to just give myself permission to have some much needed chill out time and even more lovely that it was in wonderful company with a man that gives me so much to smile about.

I intended to pick work back up on Friday afternoon and spend the weekend catching up with all my posts, emails and general social media. However,ย  I was absolutely worn out and instead have spent the weekend slobbing out! I have done a few things, but all from the comfort of my bed! I finally emerged today and went out for a brief walk and for some food supplies.

Its been a while since I’ve flaked out like that but its understandable really as I’ve been on such an emotional high. Whilst the high is a wonderful thing and should be enjoyed, self-care means preparing for the come down and allowing my body to react in whatever way it needs.

 

 

Spending Time With Friends-Day 26 To 28 Of #365daysofselfcare

This Blog is part of the #365daysofselfcare challenge

Self-care is spending quality time relaxing with friends

rechargeLife has been full of so many wonderful things lately. It feels good to be able to say that after months and months of poor mental and physical health. I have been swept off my feet by a wonderful, kind and handsome man and he is responsible for all the smiling and laughing that is currently going on in my life.

After a particularly high Thursday evening and Friday morning, when this wonderful gent then asked me to be his boyfriend, (I know, cuteness overload!) I decided that the best self-care would be to recharge my batteries a bit, spending time with friends and resting up.ย I feel nicely recharged now and ready for the new week ahead!