Learning To Let Go- Day 57 And 58 Of #365daysofselfcare

This blog is part of the #365daysofselfcarechallenge

LET go of the things you cannot control.jpgSelf-care is learning to let go of the things you cannot control

When I began my recovery from mental illness and addiction, letting go was not an easy lesson for me However, I was helped to realise that my constant need to control everything was the cause of my pain, not the the thing itself. Learning this was a revelation that completely changed my perspective on control and letting go.

My life is in a huge period of change and is suddenly full of things I cannot control. Some of these things are positive, some negative, but in all life changing situations I currently find myself in, I have very little control of the actual outcome. I have a new relationship, a second party in my life to consider, my mum is slowly leaving us via the cruel hand of dementia, and I am at the beginning of a new career as a writer.

On top of this, I have been given a date for surgery.  This should be my final stage, if all goes well. However, I have had many issues so there is a chance I will need further surgery if my last fix didn’t succeed. This has now been made even more complicated by the fact that I have an under-active thyroid, discovered only a couple of months ago. I found out last week that without my thyroid levels being stable, I will not be able to have surgery.  I have had to cancel events this week, in order to get blood tests and run around liaising and emailing between my GP and Consultant. Its frustrating because I am cancelling events that I might not need to cancel if surgery doesn’t go ahead. If it doesn’t, on top of the disappointment at not being able to have surgery it will be hard not to be annoyed at missing a holiday with my best friend and a music festival.

This frustration however, is a complete waste of my energy and is not going to help improve anything. These events are simply out of my control. My energy is much better spent in controlling the things I can, like reorganising things so that I can get the necessary tests done. Letting go of what I can’t control, gives me the ability to better manage the things that are in my control, and allows me to be kinder to myself.



Restarting A Day – Day 51 Of #365daysofselfcare

This Blog takes is part of the #365daysofselfcare challenge

RESTART DAY.jpgSelf-care is knowing how to restart a day which started badly

Today did not start well, which is a shame as I had a lovely evening in London last night with my best bud. There are a ton of train problems at the moment, our train was cancelled, meaning an additional wait and missing our follow on connections, plus we were given the wrong information which complicated things further. The upshot was a replacement bus to Brighton Arriving at 4am!

I am exhausted now and frustrated. I had so much to do which now is impossible with this level of tiredness. Chris is coming over and I am now going to be tired and stressed for him. My mental and physical health relies on a routine and so the best thing I can do now is to get some sleep.

When I wake up, l have two choices. I can let it continue to annoy me and ruin the day or simply use a fab trick l learnt in AA and restart my day.

Taking a deep breath, letting it go and restarting is the best self care I can practice today.