The festive season is that time of year when overindulging on alcohol seems to be completely justified. Christmas and the holiday season can, therefore, be difficult to cope with when you are in recovery, or even just trying to limit your intake. I have been sober since 2010, and although the holiday season isn’t as tough as it once was, I still must be vigilant and look after my recovery. In this blog, I will share my tips on how to stay sober during the holiday season and protect your recovery.
Put Your Recovery First
To protect your recovery, it needs to be the central thing in your life. This is always the case, but especially during the festive season. It is not selfish to put yourself first at all. I always like to remind people of the oxygen mask scenario, you have to put your own on first so that you are then able to help others. This is the same with recovery if you don’t put your sobriety first and you relapse, this is going to damage everyone, not just you. Your friends and loved ones will understand and appreciate you taking steps to look after yourself.
Find A Support Group
If you are newly sober, then connecting with a support group can be really helpful to support you through the holiday season. I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and am incredibly grateful that I can access support from the fellowship no matter where I am in the country. AA meetings stay open over the festive season and if I do find myself struggling, I can get to a meeting on Christmas day should I need to. Check out my resources page for links to help and support.
Going to meetings and support groups is a great way to remind you why you want to stay sober. When we get swept up in the moment, it can be easy to forget the truth of what alcohol did to us and romanticize our drinking. Going to groups helps us to keep the truth in mind and to ‘play the tape forward’ as to where drinking alcohol will take us.
Attending support groups means that you can also connect with other people in recovery so that you are not alone and have another sober person to socialize with at Christmas. It also means you have people to call should you find yourself in a difficult situation and struggling.
Stick with Supportive Friends
When you are newly sober, Christmas can feel particularly difficult because it feels as though you are the only one who isn’t drinking. My first few Christmas’s were tough, I had no idea how to be around people who were drinking, and I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. Of course, you want to spend time with your friends, and you don’t want to miss out, but you need a strategy to keep yourself safe. socializing with people who might encourage you to drink is not going to help you. It is really important to find friends you can trust, who support you in your recovery and stick with them.
If You Go Out Have an Escape Plan in Place
Even with supportive friends on hand, socializing with drinkers, especially in the early days of recovery, can often feel too overwhelming. If it all gets too much, just leave. Your friends, if they are true friends, would rather you do that than ended up relapsing. I always tell my friends that if I disappear during the evening, not to worry, I just needed to get out and I don’t want to have to explain I’m going. By prewarning people beforehand, it’s easier for me to leave. I just make sure to send a text to say I’m safely home.
Have A Socialising Strategy
Even years into recovery, I do not like to be around drunk people. Drunk people during the festive season are even worse! When people are drunk and you are sober, you can no longer communicate, you are on entirely different wavelengths. Therefore, my strategy, is that I attend at the beginning of the evening, and then once people start repeating themselves ad slurring, I make for the exit! The good thing is, they rarely even realize I left early! This way, I still get to socialize, but I keep myself safe.
At Parties and Events Watch Your Drink Carefully
It is too easy at a busy event, to accidentally pick up the wrong drink, or to have someone hand you something with alcohol in. Buy your own drinks and make them something large, like a pint of lime cordial and soda or a coke, so they are easier to identify. I always ask for a straw, so that I can easily recognize my glass.
Decide What You Are Going To Drink Before You Go Out
Going into a pub can be very unsettling, especially in the early days. There is nothing worse than standing at a bar, wondering what to order, with all that temptation around. Therefore, always decide what you will drink before you go out. I know I am always going to have a pint of lime and soda, so I get to the bar, order that quick and move away.
Beware of Christmas Food! Always Read the Label
For some reason, Christmas arrives, and suddenly food manufacturers think that means they must put alcohol into all manner of usually innocent food. Now, not only so we have to watch our drink, but our food too! I almost ate brandy infused cheese one year! Therefore, do make sure to always double and triple check what you buy to make sure there is no hidden alcohol.
At Parties and Events Don’t Be Afraid to Ask What’s In the Food
Food roulette at Christmas makes parties at people’s houses extremely problematic for those of us in recovery. It is really hard to be sure what is alcohol-free and it can feel embarrassing to ask. However, it’s better to be a little embarrassed than to accidentally eat something laced with alcohol. If you don’t want to disclose you are in recovery, simply say you are allergic to alcohol.
Take Your Own Alcohol-Free food and Drink To Parties
Parties can also cause a lot of anxiety in terms of worrying about what to take with you. It is polite to take a little something as a thank you for being invited, but that doesn’t have to be alcohol. The good things is that lots of people take alcohol to parties, and therefore your host will likely be glad of some alternative soft drinks!
My habit when I attend a party is to take a bottle of soft drink, and an alcohol-free dessert with me. That way, I can feel reassured that there is a drink I can have, and a dessert I can trust! My favorite soft tipple is the Bottlegreen cordials or the Fentimans soft drinks and these make nice party gestures because they are a really nice alternative to basic coke or lemonade.
Make New Holiday Season Habits
A vital aspect of change is to develop new habits. Rather than thinking about what you might be missing, think about what new things you can bring into your life, to make new holiday season habits. Perhaps a trip to the cinema can be a new Christmas eve habit instead of a party. A winter walk in the afternoon on Christmas day could replace an afternoon in the pub. Maybe your first drink of the day on Christmas morning will be a luxurious hot chocolate with marshmallows rather than an alcoholic drink.. Have fun making new habits in this happier healthy life choice to be sober.
Remind Yourself It Will Get Easier
Early recovery is hard, and the holiday season makes it even more so. But remember, this is only a short period of time and with the above suggestions in place, you can make it through.
Once you have been in recovery for a while, the festive season will get easier. I still must be careful, in terms of watching what I eat, and so on, but being sober no longer bothers me. In fact, I enjoy the holiday season far more now because it’s not full of hangovers and embarrassing scenarios, and I remember it all! A sober life is not the boring life I once worried it would be!
I hope these tips help, please do let me know in the comments below, or if you have other suggestions. Stay safe and have a wonderful sober holiday season!
Hello! My name is Finn and I have a passion for creating honest content, that inspires personal growth and promotes well-being.
Buy my Phalloplasty memoir here.
If you enjoy my content and want to say thanks, become a Friend of Finn and get bonus perks!
*Please note, this blog contains affiliate links which means when you buy through me. I may make a little commission. However, this is of no extra cost to you, and I only recommend products that I have personally found helpful.
A lot of great advice there. I hadn’t even considered the need to watch you drink, in order to avoid drinking from the wrong glass, or even someone topping you drink up by mistake with something alcoholic
Thanks for reading! Yes, after a few years in recovery and a fair few near misses, you learn the best ways to protect yourself!