The Many Gifts Of Sobriety | 10 Years in Recovery

August is a month of many milestones. I am celebrating my graduation, my sobriety birthday, and the anniversary of completing my gender transition. Each individual milestone is incredible, but together they leave me overwhelmed with gratitude for how different my life is today.  In this blog, I wanted to share this joy with you. I also hope it might be an inspiration for how much change is possible when we set our intentions the right way.

Celebrating 10 Years of Sobriety

The biggest milestone by far is my 10-year sobriety birthday. Without my sobriety, none of the other amazing things in my life would even be possible. You see, it is because of my sobriety that I discovered I am transgender and found the courage to transition. And it is because of my sobriety that I was able to begin studying for a degree. I am where I am today, because of my recovery from addiction.

I began my recovery on the 17^th of August 2010, in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Walking into those rooms I was terrified. I heard the AA promises read out and, in all honesty, I thought they applied to someone else. I saw happy faces and I heard tales of joy. However, I couldn’t imagine that any of that would be me or my life.

The Magic Of The One Day At A Time Approach

Thank goodness for the one day at a time approach. That unique approach meant I didn’t focus on other people who had lots of sobriety under their belt, or project myself into an unimaginable future. I just concentrated on that day and the immediate ground beneath my feet.

By focusing on just one day at a time, those days then started to add up. As the days became weeks, my life started to unfold in ways I could have never dreamt were possible. I didn’t see it at the time, as I was so focused on the day, but looking back now, I can see that on that day I put the drink down, I was reborn in every way possible.

Finding Hope And Purpose in Sobriety

After a few months in the rooms, for the first time in my life, I began to feel hopeful. I began to take my first glimpses at the future and think about what I might want my future to be. I was 36 years old and had zero prospects. My mental health had always got in the way of work and study. My drinking had stopped me from growing up and building a life. Up until that point, the future was something I wanted to avoid. Now, with the growing sense of hope, and an entirely different view of life, I wanted to make something of myself.

Returning To University

I thought that the best option would be to retrain and gain a qualification. I’d begun a degree program in the past but had to leave because of my mental health and my drinking. I thought I might like to return to Uni to finish that degree. However, I was afraid that it would be too much to manage as I was so newly sober. I wasn’t sure I could manage the workload, or cope with socializing, without risking my sobriety.

By chance, I stumbled upon an advert for The Open University and felt so excited as it was the perfect solution. Studying via distance learning, I would study from home and I could build my own routine. This flexibility meant that I could keep my sobriety as the central focus and work my studies around it. Plus, I wouldn’t have to worry about the social aspect and risking my sobriety. I enrolled and prepared to start my first module.

Discovering Myself To Be Transgender

Little did I know then that life was about to get even more complicated. As I worked through the steps of the program and began the inner journey I had been avoiding for years, a new realization began to make its way to the surface. I was transgender. This was the answer as to why I had felt at odds with myself for so many years. I was terrified, but I knew I had to come out and begin my gender transition.

So there was I in 2011, barely a year sober, just starting the first module of my open university degree, and taking my first tentative steps on the path to gender transition. I don’t know if It would all be too much. Luckily, the combination of the one day at a time approach, coupled with the flexibility of The Open University, meant that I could make everything manageable. When I needed too, I paused my studies. On occasion, I banked scores and restarted a whole module. This meant that I could always put my sobriety and transition first, whilst still progressing – even if it was sometimes slowly -with my studies.

Gratitude For The Life I have Today

And now here I am in August 2020, graduating from The Open University. And I am not just graduating but graduating with a first-class honour’s degree! This was always going to be an incredible time, but for my graduation to coincide with all these other milestones, is incredible. To be here today, as a graduate, celebrating ten years clean and sober, and having completed my entire gender transition, is awe-inspiringly amazing. There have been many tears this week, tears of joy and gratitude for this amazing life I have that at one point seemed an impossible dream.

Our Past Does Not Have To Define Our Future

The point in sharing this – as well as sharing the joy- is to demonstrate that we do not have to be a slave to our past. It doesn’t matter who you have been, you get to decide who you will be from here on in. It isn’t easy to make a new decision and to do things differently, but it is a darn sight easier than living in pain and not being all we can be.

The key for me, I realize now, was in finding a different way to do things. We do not have to wait for situations to be perfect, or to be free of challenges. The time is now, and if you find a way to do things differently, in ways that work for you, anything is possible.

Hello! My name is Finn and I have a passion for creating honest content, that inspires personal growth and promotes well-being.

Buy my Phalloplasty memoir here.

If you enjoy my content and want to say thanks, become a Friend of Finn and get bonus perks!