Success is relative. Picture of pink blanket, a laptop a cup with pencils inside it and a chalk board with the phrase, you've got this.

I planned to go to the gym today. I joined last week, in the hope it may do me some good. However, I only got as far as getting up, showering and dressing. Once dressed, I felt defeated by the enormity of the rest of the steps needed to complete a gym session and could go no further. To combat the feelings of failure, I need to remind myself, especially under the current circumstances, that success is relative.

The Mountain Is Too Big To Climb Today

I was excited to restart the gym, and on getting into bed last night, I had positive feelings about it. However, I hardly slept last night, and I woke feeling dreadful. On top of feeling awful, it’s chucking it down with rain and its Eastbourne’s half marathon, which means the buses are changed and diverted. The process of getting to the gym therefore, is a mountain I am not able to climb today.


My negative self-talk is off the scale at the moment, and I continually have to steer my brain away from negative thoughts.

It would be easy to now spiral downwards into guilt and shame for not managing to get out. My negative self-talk is off the scale at the moment and has been, understandably, since mum passed away. I continually have to steer my brain away from negative thoughts and self depreciation. A missed gym session means I have to step up the mindfulness around my thoughts because my inner critic now thinks it has every right to tell me that I am a failure.

Success Is Relative

At times like this I have to stop to take a deep breath and remind myself that success is relative. Success doesn’t always mean achieving the thing you intended. Often, success means doing the best you can, then permitting yourself to stop and try again tomorrow.

Reframing Success When You Have Mental Health Challenges

success is relative when you have mental health challenges. Picture of Finlay Games sat on a step in gym gear

I can look at this picture and choose to see either a  failure or a brave, determined man who got up and got dressed despite spending most of the night awake and in tears. I am grieving, I am not sleeping, and I am exhausted. On top of this, I’m in recovery. It is hard work trying to avoid using mums death as an excuse to get so drunk that I never sober up again. Staying clean and sober is no easy task when you are grieving.

Today therefore, I am reminding myself that success is relative, and my best is always good enough.

I have so much to deal with, and yet  I joined a gym, I got up, I had a shower, I got dressed, and I had breakfast. That is far from a failure. So, rather than letting this day spiral out of control I shall use the restart tool and draw a line under this mornings events. As for the gym, tomorrow is another day. Right now, a well-earned duvet day on the sofa is calling.