I currently receive Universal Credit, as my mental health challenges have made it difficult to do paid work. In beginning to explore the New Enterprise Allowance, as part of my plan to gradually withdraw from Universal Credit and become self-employed, the first step is to attend an introductory seminar. After meeting with my work coach a week earlier, I received a date to attend on the 5th December.
Preparing For The Seminar
I hadn’t expected to receive a date so quickly, so I was incredibly nervous. My social anxiety means that I struggle a lot with new places and new people, but I know I have to push myself outside my comfort zone! My desire to get myself off Universal Credit and move towards earning my own money drove me forward! I had made sure to have a rough draft of my business plan ready, and some questions, so they could serve as prompts should my anxiety cause
Coping With Anxiety
I managed to find the location of the seminar, but then there was some confusion with getting inside because the intercom wasn’t working. My fight or flight response shot up, and I had the inevitable battle with my avoidant brain, telling me, “Well, you might as well go home…” Be quiet brain. I am doing this!
I finally managed to get inside, but then the person at reception didn’t know where the seminar was. The receptionist directed me to the top floor, so I climbed the stairs because in a high anxiety state I dare not use the lift. I reached the top lever, out of breath, but the chap told me it was on the ground floor! Arriving back at the ground floor I asked again for clarification. My anxiety had made me rather snappy now, and I was struggling not to get annoyed. Resisting my fight or flight response, I rooted my feet to the ground, took some deep breaths and waited while someone finally found the workshop details.
The Imposter Syndrome
Finally, I sat down in the correct room, which was on the ground floor, right by the receptionist’s desk. I again took some deep breaths. I needed to shake off the frustration and anger so that it didn’t cloud this experience. A trickle of people began to arrive and then my anxiety spiked again. The voice of the imposter syndrome started whispering into my ear, “What are you doing here? You can seriously think you can do this, do you?”. I focused on my breathing and just let the thoughts go. More deep breaths.
The Seminar
Once the workshop was underway, I relaxed a little. The chap who ran it, Adrian, was very direct and clear. However, the contents of the workshop weren’t really what I had been expecting. I thought it would be about the logistics of the NEA, which although it did cover a little, i.e. what the expectations of us were, how it would work, etc. it was far more focused on the logistics of running a business. It was similar to the workshop I took in the summer with Eastbourne commerce. I didn’t mind this at all, I learned new things and most importantly, it didn’t put me off!
At the end of the workshop, we were advised to think about what we had learned and whether we still wanted to go ahead with our own small business. If we did, then we were to contact our job coach and ask for an official referral.
The answer from me was a resounding yes!
My Readiness To Withdraw From Universal Credit
The seminar, for me, was not just a way to see if I can make my business idea work. It was also to see if I would manage it with my mental health. This next year will be stressful. There will be lots of meetings in new places, with lots of people I don’t know. My anxiety will likely make me very uncomfortable a great deal of the time. But, I can do this. Precisely because of the flexibility self-employment will give me. For example, after the high anxiety of the seminar, I crashed for a day. But that was OK, I just worked in bed, in my pyjamas and the next day I felt balanced again.
I really do think I can do this, so now I have to let my Universal Credit advisor coach know that I am ready. Then, she can then make everything official and move me from universal credit, onto the New Enterprise Allowance. I am scared but mostly excited!
[…] of progression since I began to explore The New Enterprise Allowance. Directly after attending the NEA introductory workshop, I asked for an official referral. I had expected to wait a while for an appointment because it was […]
Well done for keeping your anxiety under control. You’ve go this Finn!
Thank you so much! Its odd for me now, to have such a sudden spike in anxiety. My base level anxiety is like a low hum just in the background, so I often just don’t register it as I am so used to it. Then, when an event like this happens it does take me by surprise, but it also shows me how much better I handle it!
How annoying to have to walk all the way to the top floor and back down again, only to learn that the seminar was being held in the room next to reception! The receptionist was not making a very good ‘First point of contact’ for the company that day! Really glad that life sent a well suited different set of circumstances to you to what you were expecting during the seminar, because from what you say, it sounds like it was exactly what you needed. Sounds like the guidance helped you to gain a strong feeling that you can create… Read more »
Bless you, thank you so much for your constant belief in me. I have so many ideas bubbling away so I really hope those pies are nicely cooked very soon! So glad to have you with me in this incredible journey
Thank you for allowing encouragement to come in, as I love encouraging your journey. I’ve got the table set and am shining up the cutlery ready for some pie when it’s done! 😊 One of my favourite things is believing in you, my friend, because you are worth believing in! You always have such great ideas and I’m excited to see what you have in stall and to see them unfold. I was reading in your other comments about the anxiety you experience at times. I think it’s very normal for you to experience the anxiety that you have still.… Read more »