"Its Never Too Late To Be Who You Might Have Been"

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5 Tips for Coping With Waiting Times in Gender Transition

Pedestrian crossing wait sign. Text reads how to cope with waiting times in gender transition

Long Waiting Times and The Impact on Our Mental Health

The hardest part of going through gender transition is coping with long waiting times. We wait for our first referral, for appointments in between, for hormones and surgery if we chose it. The relief first felt at realising we are trans, is soon replaced with anguish. The road ahead seems impossibly long and the mountain too high to climb. Understandably, our mental health often suffers as a result. Therefore, if we are to survive this process intact, we must learn ways to cope with the wait. In the following blog, I will share the top five things which helped me to get through my gender transition.

Phalloplasty Sensation Progress Over Time

Background image of colorful fireworks text reads phalloplasty sensation recovery

Phalloplasty, in being such a complicated procedure, comes with a lot of possible complications. A major concern for a lot of transgender people considering this surgery is the risk of loss of sensation. Losing sensation was certainly something I feared. However, thankfully, my fears have not been realised. In the following blog, I map out my phalloplasty sensation progress over the four years since I had my first stage phalloplasty.

First Stage Phalloplasty | A Guide to Recovering at Home

Person recovering in bed after first stage phalloplasty

The first stage of radial forearm free flap phalloplasty is the most recovery intensive. Not only does it take many weeks to heal, but there are also multiple affected areas. Therefore, recovery can feel like very hard work. However, with the right preparation beforehand, you can adapt your home and make things a lot easier for yourself. In the following blog, I share the things that I found helpful in my own recovery after first stage phalloplasty.

Phalloplasty Final Stage -Implant Review | 9 Months Post-op

Bananas on a red background. Test reads phalloplasty implant review

The 8th of May 2019, marks nine months since I had the final stage of my phalloplasty surgery and completed my gender transition. Here in the UK, the final stage of Phalloplasty is the insertion of the penile prosthesis. In this blog, I will talk about the healing process, addressing some initial concerns I had and giving an overview of how I am finding the prosthesis. Before we begin, I want to stress that this is a frank and honest discussion of an intimate nature, so please bear that in mind before continuing to read!

What is Transgender Day of Visibility?

What is transgender day of visibility

The 31st of March is a significant day in the transgender community. On this day we celebrate International Transgender Day of Visibility (TDoV).

Until recently, there was a lack of transgender awareness days, specifically for celebrating trans people. Therefore in 2009, International Transgender Day of Visibility was created and has since become an annual global holiday.

International Women’s Day | Being A Male Advocate

International Women's Day Promotional Banner #balance is better

On celebratory days like International Women’s Day, I am never quite sure how to respond. As a transgender man who has his completed transition, I often feel I no longer have the right to comment. I fear that if I post my personal views, people might see me as yet another man exerting his power, so I stay quiet.

Phalloplasty Hospital Kit | The Essential List of What to Take With You

Rows of beds on a hospital ward. Test reads phalloplasty essential hospital kit list

I frequently receive messages, from folks who are about to go into surgery, asking for my advice as to what to take with them to the hospital. In this blog, I will share my recommended phalloplasty hospital kit list with you.

Phalloplasty surgery involves multiple stages and therefore many hospital stays. It is worth investing in items that will travel with you on your journey, to use time and time again.

Can You Find Love Through Online Dating? | My Success Story

find love through online dating | My success story. Picture of myself and my boyfriend, two gay men, in love wearing rainbow garlinds

This is my first Valentines day for some years that I haven’t been single. To be honest, I think I am still in shock that I am in a relationship! It’s not that I didn’t want to find someone, because I did. However, I was very nervous about dating, mainly because of my trans history. I also wasnt sure I believed that you could find love through online dating.

Tumblr Adult Content Ban & Trans Surgery Blogs

Tumblr adult content ban and trans surgery blogs

The Tumblr adult content ban has left a lot of trans guys like me with nowhere to turn. Those of you who follow my website and YouTube channel for transition updates will know that alongside this website, I have a surgery blog on Tumblr. In the months leading up to Christmas, Tumblr announced that it would be placing an outright ban on anything that it deemed to be of ‘adult content’. This ban came into effect on the 17th December 2018. Since then, I have received countless messages from people asking if I will keep posting about my phalloplasty experiences. I thought it might be easier to make my answer public here.

How To Reduce Scars – 7 tips Post Top Surgery

Oils and moisturisers next to a bath. Text reads 7 tips for scar healing by Finlay Games

Scars are the unfortunate downside to going through gender transition. However, with good care, it is possible to reduce scars. In this blog, I will share my top 7 tips for how to reduce scars post top-surgery.

Top Surgery – A Five Year Post-Op Reflection

Top surgery a five year post op reflection. Gender transition surgery chest reconstruction

It has now been five years since my top surgery (chest reconstruction as part of my gender transition). I missed the specific day go past this year, but that doesn’t mean I ever take my chest for granted. Something frequently happens that causes me pause and reflect on just how blessed I am and how free I feel.

Playtime For Adults | 5 Reasons Why I’m A Big Kid

Playtime is for adults too. 5 reasons why I'm a big kid. Playtime is never over when you are a transman in recovery

Playtime does not have to be over just because childhood has ended. As a transgender man and a recovering addict and alcoholic, my playtime has only just begun! I am well aware that l can be ridiculous at times. I get easily excited when visiting new places and seeing new things. The slightest thing, a  newborn lamb, a soaring seagull, a beautiful flower, any of these can cause me to bounce around with excitement like Tigger.

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