Anxiety is such an exhausting beast. To venture outside my comfort zone, with it turning cartwheels in my gut, often feels like too much of an ask. Anxiety says that to keep it quiet, I must do as it commands. I must avoid all risks, avoid new people, and always say no to anything I’ve never done before, for fear of looking like an idiot. Anxiety tells me this is the way to feel comfortable and prevent mental pain. Anxiety is a big fat liar.
Comfort has a time and a place
The idea of a comfort zone really is an illusion cast by the anxiety beast. Whilst it is, of course, good to make time to relax and be comfortable, if we stay in that state all the time, it will eventually become uncomfortable. This is because when life becomes stagnant our mood is negatively affected as is our personal development. Thinking that staying in our comfort zone will keep us safe from mental health challenges is, therefore, an illusion.
Picking your battles
When you have mental health problems, it is important to pick your battles wisely. It has been a while since I have ventured outside of my comfort zone. I have had to be very gentle with myself lately. The constant hypothyroidism fatigue has made it impossible to do anything else. However, since starting the higher dose of Levothyroxine, the fatigue fog has finally begun to lift. I had lots of anxiety-inducing events in my diary that I did not want to have to cancel, so it has been a relief to feel less tired. On beginning to feel better, I knew it was time to shift gear from simple living to catching an express train out of comfort zone town.
Time to get back to scaring myself
I say this a lot (because its true!), but self-care is not always about the gentle self-soothing things. Sometimes, it is about scaring the pants out of yourself. Why? Well because otherwise, you let the anxiety beat you. While you may not be able to overcome all anxiety, you can at least live life regardless of it (something else I mention a lot!). The only way to do this is to spend time outside your comfort zone so that you demonstrate to yourself that it is possible to do. This way, you expand your comfort zone and grow from the experience.
This week’s adventures outside of my comfort zone
My latest adventure as an Open University ambassador saw me teaming up with Anna Richardson to do some radio interviews on the topic of mental health. My anxiety has been, understandably, through the roof. At the end of my high anxiety week, I found myself again reflecting on why I push so hard against my comfort zone.
I scare myself to stay alive
Quite simply, I push myself into uncomfortable situations to have a reason to live. The comfort zone is an illusion. While it is healthy to retreat to comfort sometimes, living there permanently, with nothing happening in life, would be a miserable existence. I hadn’t noticed this reason before. I know that I adopt the ‘do something that scares you,’ mantra as a way to stick two fingers up to my constant anxiety. That I also push myself to have a reason to live, was not something I had acknowledged before. At least not as clearly as it came to me in reflection this week.
Every time I push through the anxiety and achieve something, I feel so proud of myself. This feeling is what makes my living with anxiety bearable. Whatever I do, I always have some level of anxiety. I could simplify my life to the point where my anxiety stays as a background buzz rather than putting myself in high anxiety situations. High anxiety turns the background buzz into a 3000-volt vibration. It brings with it profuse sweating, shaking and needing the toilet. Yes, life would be so much more bearable if I never pushed myself.
Achieving keeps me breathing
However, I would also be far more likely to listen to the persistent intrusive thoughts I get about ending my life (please don’t panic, I am fine I get these thoughts all the time, they are more of a brain reflex than a genuine want). Life with constant, nameless anxiety is hard. It is exhausting. You have to t
Actively choosing times to push through fear, despite the consequences of diarrhea, exhaustion, shaking, and a banging
Thanks Finn was there an initial trigger for your anxiety or not
Hi Lee,
Thats a good question! I really don’t know, I’ve felt anxious for as long as I can remember. My current thinking on it is that I was born predisposed to anxiety more than the average person and then a series of things happened which then made it worse. Gender dysphoria was for sure a huge trigger for it.
Hi Lee, sorry its taken me a while to reply. There doesn’t seem to have been an initial trigger, I can honestly say I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t anxious. I do think my gender dysphoria had a lot to do with it and perhaps because it wasn’t addressed for so long that made it take hold so firmly.
Thank you as always for sharing.
I do not struggle with mental health issues – at least not to the extent you seem to do. But I, too, need these regular occasions where I leave my comfort zone. For me it feels like I push the borders of my comfort zone further away from me by doing so. And if I would not do it, I feel very strongly that my comfort zone would narrow down day by day until I could not move anymore without being extremely scared.
That is very true my friend, I think pushing boundaries is a vital part of our growth as a human, whether you have mental health issues or no. And like you say, if you don’t push things, you risk life narrowing which would then perhaps cause mental health problems
Thank you for your thoughtful comment.