In my journey of recovery and finding myself, I have discovered many helpful tools. This comprehensive Resources page is a free list of advice, information and support, gathered by my own experience along the way. I am passing them on in the hope that they will help you too.
Some of the following links are affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission. This is of no extra cost to you and you can rest assured that I only ever recommend something which has been useful to me.
This is an organic list which I continually add to and expand on. To stay up to date with my recommendations, there is also a free Newsletter which you can subscribe to here. You can also stay up to date with all my recommended products and tools by following my Amazon page here.
Mental health and Recovery resources
LGBTQ+ Resources
Transgender Resources
Blogging and Vlogging tools
Mental Health Resources
Mental Health Support and Advice
Never struggle alone or suffer in silence. There are many networks, charities and organisations which offer various types of help and support. Its also worth doing a google search of where you live for specific local support. For example, where I live we have Coastal Well-being which offers various groups and courses to help support good mental health
MIND: this incredible charity offers so much support for people with mental health challenges. As well as helplines , drop in centres and support groups, they also offer lots of different well-being courses, for example in improving self-esteem or learning mindfulness meditation.
The Samaritans: are there for anyone struggling with thoughts of suicide and not knowing where to turn. There are many diferent ways to contact them, by email, phone, text or at drop in centres
London Friend Antidote : An LGBTQI+ service offering support and advice on drug and alcohol issues
Alcoholics Anonymous: A worldwide organisation helping people with addiction to alcohol. Face to face meeting locally and some larger towns and cities have LGBTQI+ meetings
Drink Chat : A free messaging service where you can chat to an advisor over online messaging
Addaction: Help, support and advice for issues with drugs and alcohol
Recommended Mental Health, personal Development and self help books
The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck this book is my all time favourite self help/personal development book. It is full of wisdom, tough love and practical common sense advice. You cannot help by grow from reading this and I recommend all of Scott’s books in this series.
Cool Water by William Alexander: this book has a wonderful take on alcoholism and recovery and I get something different from it every time I re read it.
Feel the fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers:this book is incredibly powerful and transformative. It has helped me to better manage my anxiety and be able to do the things that scare me, regardless of it.
A Sad and Sorry State of Disorder : A Journey into Borderline Personality Disorder (and out the Other Side) by Tracy Barker: this is such a beautiful, honest and inspiring read ad gives a unique insight into living with Borderline Personality Disorder
When Everything Changes, Change Everything : In a time of turmoil, a pathway to peace by Neale Donald Walsch : I love all of Neale’s books but thus one especially is full of great insights and practical common sense advice on dealing with change.
Mental Health & Recovery Tools
Building a mental health tool kit is a vital aspect of recovery. These are some of the things I have found useful to help maintain good mental health
Adult Colouring Books: Colouring books for adults have seen a huge rise in popularity. I have been using colouring books for years, as a way to manage anxiety, de-stress and distract my self in recovering from self-harm. Its lovely now, that there are books designed especially for adults, and these contain beautiful intricate patterns and designs. They are a joy to lose yourself in!
Buddhify: Meditation is a fantastic tool for managing anxiety and low mood. Buddhify makes learning meditation incredibly simple. There are a huge selection of guided meditations, and various themes depending on what you need help with, for example, managing stress, dealing with difficult emotions or overcoming anxiety.
Creating a positive environment: our immediate surroundings, where we spend the majority of our time, can greatly affect our mood. I wrote a detailed blog post, sharing the ways in which we can create a positive environment to improve and maintain good mental health.
LGBTQ+ Support and Advice
Gender and sexuality are complex topics. Working out how you identify and who you are attracted to, can be a difficult process. Coming out can be challenging and frightening. Going through gender transition is a tough journey. Its also often not easy for friends and family to come to terms with our sexuality or gender identity. The following links provide various support and advice agencies on gender and sexuality issues.
Stonewall : offers lots of advice, support and resources for LGBTQ people. They also have a section where you can find local groups in your area
Mermaids: an incredible charity helping to provide information, support and advice around transgender issues. They have a helpline, available to use for those up to 19 years of age
Gendered Intelligence : a service offering comprehensive information on trans issues and support for transgender teens
London Friend: this service provides help and support for LGBT adults with issues such as coming out, domestic abuse and drug and alcohol addiction. They also provide counselling and support groups.
All Together :This group organises meet ups across the UK for LGBT people
TMSA UK : a fantastic resource for trans masculine folks. They offer support and meet ups in person and in online secret groups
FTM London: A friendly informal group for Trans men that meets regularly in London,
Recommended LGBTQ+ Books
Trans Memoir
Just Add Hormones by Matt Kailey : This is the first book I read when I first began to question if I may be transgender. I related to so much of Matt’s story of realising the truth of oneself at an older age.
Transitioning Together by Wenn and Beatrice Lawson : This is an inspiring story of a couple who negotiated one of them transitioning whilst balancing the difficulties of them both being on the autistic spectrum
LGBT Memoir
Logical Family by Armistead Maupin: this is s beautiful book about the strength that can be found within a self created family within the LGBT community
LGBT History And Culture
Queer Intentions A (Personal) Journey Through LGBTQ + Culture By Amelia Abraham ; I loved this book, it makes reading about LGBTQ culture very accessible and personal. I love the way Amelia writes and you cannot help but be drawn in by this wonderful book.
LGBTQ+ Blogs and Videos
Blogs
Videos
Gender Transition Resources
The following are links to information about being trans and the process of gender transition
General Info
Gires: lots of info and resources about transgengender issues
Transbucket : A great resource with lots of pictures of trans surgeries
Blogs
Videos
- ‘Passing’ Tips for Trans People (How to be Read Correctly)
- How to Cope With Waiting Times in Transition
Phalloplasty Resources
Useful Blogs
Useful Videos
Home Recovery Kit List Post Lower Surgery
Trying to negotiate lots of sore areas is hard. Forward planning can make personal hygiene easier and make sure your home is comfortable and accessible for you post op
Shower sleeve: this is a must if you have forearm phalloplasty. You need to keep that arm dry and this allows you to shower and use the arm, whilst protecting it from getting wet.
Bed protectors: these are great to lie on in bed and sit on in chairs. They help to protect and keep things hygienic, especially when you just want to sit or lie naked and let the air get to everything to aid healing.
Over bed tray: you will not be able to have anything on your lap after lower surgery. This lap tray is the perfect solution as it has adjustable legs, meaning it can go over your lap at a comfortable height, protecting your precious new equipment!
Wet wipes : showering every day is exhausting, so for those times i between, and to keep things fresh, wet wipes will be your best friend! Make sure to chose ones that are fragrance and gentle. Water wipes are my go to brand.
Dry wipes: these are fantastic for many different things. Much more hygienic than flannels to wash with and can be used to hygienically dry areas after showering too.
Antibacterial Hand Gel : hygiene is absolutely vital for good recovery and to prevent infection. Make sure to have a few bottles of these dotted about your home, in the bathroom, beside your bed and where you sit during the day. Don’t be afraid to insist your visitors use it too! Pump bottles are the easiest to use with one hand.
Wet toilet tissue: Trying to wipe your bum successfully with one had is very difficult! Using wet, flush-able toilet tissue makes it easier and keeps things clean and hygienic
Soft Toilet Seat & Raiser: negotiating the toilet after lower surgery is a painful nightmare. Investing in a soft toilet seat, which also adds some height, makes the whole thing so much easier. This has been a great investment throughout all my surgery stages.
Memory foam cushion: this was a blessing! A memory foam cushion helps to make sitting on those bum staples much less uncomfortable. It is great to use in cars when travelling home from the hospital or to appointments and to use in a wheel chair if you hire one to help you get out and about.
Basic Medical First-Aid Kit Post Lower Surgery
You should always seek medical help with any wound issues you have post surgery. However, its also a good idea to keep a basic first aid kit at home, so that you can help yourself temporarily until you can get to your local nurse or GP
Sterile Water: its common for wounds and suture sites to get infected. Its a god idea to have some sterile water to hand to clean up areas before redressing them
Non Adherent Dressings: its a good idea to keep a few of these in different sizes at home in case you need to cover or patch something up until you can get it looked at.
Adhesive Remover Wipes: these have been my best friend for years! The downside to being a hairy man is getting dressings off without giving yourself a wax. Zoff wipes are amazing, simply run them over the top of the sticky part of the dressing or against your skin on an opening of a dressing and then you can easily remove it pain-free!
Top Surgery Resources
Recovery at home
V Pillow: these make it so much easier to sit upright, supported and prevent pillows from slipping to one side. These are also really handy to use to protect your chest from the seatbelt in cars.
Adjustable folding bed rest: this is one of the best investments I made and has had a ton of use throughout all my surgeries. Its lightweight, easy to clean, simple to fold and store and makes it so much more comfortable to sit up in bed or to sleep at a raised angle.
Loose front button shirts: you will find it hard to raise your arms for a while so its a good idea to invest in some loose casual button down shirts which are easier to put on.
Scar treatment Post-Surgery
An inevitable part of any surgical procedure is scarring. However, with the right treatment, including massage and nutrition, you can achieve a good scar outcome.
Tips for scar healing : a detailed blog sharing all my tips and tricks to make scars heal and fade.
Massage oils: massage is a vital part of scar healing. I have used Tamanu oil and rose-hip seed oil on all my scars. Both are really lovely thick oils to use and the Tamanu oil is especially known for its scar healing properties.
Silicone scar treatment: silicone is widely known for its abilities to improve the appearance of scars. I used Kelo-cote along the incisions from top surgery and also on the edges of my arm graft scar. It really helps to keep the scar mist, which aid healing.
Blogging and vlogging resources
Writing and Website tools
Bluehost: I moved to a self hosted site last year and it’s the best decision I ever made. My blog is now truly mine, and I can do much more with it in terms of customisation and plugins. Moving my WordPress blog over to Bluehost was fairly simple and when I did get stuck, the patient web-chat advisers guided me in the right direction. Its really well priced, with plans for every budget.
Grammarly ; this is by far the best investment I’ve made since starting freelance writing. My spelling can be a little off at times and with Grammarly I don’t have to worry. The free version is amazing but the paid gives some great extras to fine tune your writing style. I love it!
PicMonkey: I absolutely love everything about Picmonkey. Its intuitive and versitile and I make all my video thumbnails and blog graphics with it. There are always new things added. The free version offers a fair amount of tools but for the price, its worth the upgrade for awesome editing and graphic making tools
Vlogging tools
I have used many tools for filming my vlogs over the years. The following is my current set up.
Panasonic Lumix G Camera : after a few years of using a very basic camcorder, I ungraded to a high spec camera. This one was recommended and it hasn’t let me down. I am not a tech wizard by any means so I needed something which gave great results without much technical know-how. This is a beautiful camera to use and it takes crisp clear video and stunning pictures. Its easy to use and to teach yourself the more complicated stuff.
Samsung Galaxy s8 smartphone: this is the first time I have owned a top end smart phone and I have not regretted paying out more to own one. I take a lot of pictures and video with my phone for my bogs and vlogs and so I needed something that was of very high quality. The video quality on this is outstanding! Even using just the front facing lens for filming produces amazingly good quality videos and footage for my vlogs. Love the phone in general too as its battery life is great and has a ton of memory.
Rode Videomicro Camera Microphone: I had a lot of issues with sound in my early vlogs. I researched lots of microphones and this had great reviews, for good reason! It has really increased the quality of my sound and I can film in the noisiest of environments and it filters all that out and gives beautiful crisp clear sound. Bargain price too for its genius abilities!
Camera Tripod: this budget tripod has been with me since the beginning and I have no complaints!
3 in 1 tripod for smartphone: I bought this when I started filming the Friday Finnstalments. As I film these daily vlogs on my smart phone, I needed something that I could use as a selfie stick. This 3 in 1 is great as it can be used as a telescopic selfie stick style pole which is adjustable in length, as a short tripod and as a long omnipod. Its brilliant!
DJI Osmo Mobile 2 : This gimbal stabilizer for filming with your smartphone is a complete game changer. Using it has greatly improved the quality of my videos. You can see my review of the DJI Osmo Mobile 2 here.
Editing Tools
Vegas Movie Studio HD Platinum 11: this is my current editing software and has been now for the last 7 years. I am self taught, Ive learned as I’ve gone along and this editing software has made it easy to learn the basics and then build my skills over the years.
PicMonkey: I absolutely love everything about Picmonkey. Its intuitive and versitile and I make all my video thumbnails and blog graphics with it. There are always new things added. The free version offers a fair amount of tools but for the price, its worth the upgrade for awesome editing and graphic making tools
Tubebuddy: this addition to my vlogging kit has been such a gift! Tubebuddy makes it easy to find keywords and tags, to help your videos to rank, to reply to comments. Its like having my own personal assistant to help manage my channel. Love it!
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Finlay Games is the founder of The Recovery Writer and the host of Finntheinfinncible. He is a freelance writer and speaker for hire, who advocates, informs and inspires on topics of mental health, recovery, gender transition, and sexuality.