Playtime does not have to be over just because childhood has ended. As a transgender man and a recovering addict and alcoholic, my playtime has only just begun! I am well aware that l can be ridiculous at times. I get easily excited when visiting new places and seeing new things. The slightest thing, a newborn lamb, a soaring seagull, a beautiful flower, any of these can cause me to bounce around with excitement like Tigger.
Today’s post is a bit of a ‘thinking out loud’ piece, reflecting on the ways I am developing my blog. In the six years since I first created it, this blog has been changed so many times, as I struggled to find a focus for it. Recently, in moving my career concentration over to writing, this, at last, gave me a purpose. In deciding to use this blog as a place to showcase my writing styles and abilities, I felt excited as I began to fill it regularly with content.
However, I am finding myself with a lot of frustrations and questions and am feeling rather unsatisfied and unsure if I am doing things in the best way.
If you do one thing today, please let it be coming out for Trans Equality. There are just two days left to give feedback on the Government’s consultation to’ reform of the Gender Recognition Act. The consultation is a pivotal moment in improving the lives of transgender people. Therefore we need as many trans people and allies as we can get to complete the consultation paper. The result of which will impact greatly on trans people’s lives
Anxiety is such an exhausting beast. To venture outside my comfort zone, with it turning cartwheels in my gut, often feels like too much of an ask. Anxiety says that to keep it quiet, I must do as it commands. I must avoid all risks, avoid new people, and always say no to anything I’ve never done before, for fear of looking like an idiot. Anxiety tells me this is the way to feel comfortable and prevent mental pain. Anxiety is a big fat liar.
Flexible working and studying plays a key role in managing
One of my biggest anxiety triggers is when I feel overwhelmed by appointments and personal admin. If I don’t catch this quickly, it can soon spiral out of control. I initially feel anxious because of the number of things I need to do, the anxiety then sends me into an avoidant mode and I can’t face any tasks, the tasks then grow, and so the cycle continues.
Whilst kindness to others is something most people keep at the forefront of their mind, practicing self-kindness can be too easy to forget. I am often guilty of beating myself up about things or demanding things which I would never be as hard to someone else about.
In beginning freelance writing, I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. I mean I know what I’m doing, but I don’t know if I am doing it right. Yes, I have read a lot of books, articles, posts etc, but I still feel like I am feeling my way around in the dark. Its exciting and terrifying all at once.
Preventing Suicide In The LGBTQ Community
I am unfortunately no stranger to suicide. I have a history of mental health problems, and I have made many attempts on my life. I am also both transgender and gay, which puts me in one of the highest at-risk communities for mental health issues and suicide. This means that over my lifetime, I have lost many friends to suicide and seen countless more attempt it. We need to address this now.
“Do one thing every day that scares you”
This is a line from ‘Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen)’ a spoken word song by Baz Luhrmann. In learning to live with anxiety, that particular line has stuck with me and has become somewhat of a mantra
This is surprising really as it runs contrary to my old mantra of ‘Drink one bottle of wine a day and hide from your fears.’ I lie.
It was never only one bottle.